I have always been big on New Year resolutions, and nothing excites me more than the prospect of creating a vision board. There is something magical in thinking that you can just dream up your ideal life. (The word ‘prospect’ up there is very important as I had never actually created a vision board.)
After watching a ton of videos on how to create a digital vision board, because the physical one was out of question for me, I was fired up to bring mind to life. 2022, here I come!
But first, a bit of context on why I was so keen on this.
The morning that I had allotted for the creation of the vision board would be a special one. I had a plan for it, and as far as I was concerned it was going to turn things around for me. Things that had been stale for quite a while.
Three years ago I had given birth to my son, and since then I had been immersed in my life as a full-time mother. It’s been a beautiful journey, and my son continues to be the greatest joy in my life, but on the professional front, I had completely fallen off the wagon and not been able to get back.
I had also been quite stressed. Part of it was the circumstances and part of it was just my personality.
Besides, as you get older it only gets more difficult to start something new. (At the time of writing this in early February 2022, it has been two+ solid years of the pandemic, and all the standard uncertainty that it brings. Add to that, we made a huge move in the middle of the raging Delta wave; we shifted our lives from India to Australia, so that was another factor contributing to me not being able to get my act together, so to speak.)
A very long story short, after numerous false starts relating to grand visions of sorting my life out and becoming one of those mommies who are able to strike a beautiful balance between personal responsibilities and professional aspirations, one weekend I decided to tear myself away from the unending lists of things to do and go some place refreshing to create a new life manifesto. The following Monday I went to a popular cafe in the neighbourhood, after dropping my son at the childcare, to begin this grandiose mission!
All set for a life-changing morning at the Picnic Cafe
Excitement meets reality… and I have nothing to say
When I sat down at an enviable spot in that café, I had a grand plan. In that beautiful setting, on that gorgeous Monday morning, with a cup of delicious piccolo by my side, I would create my digital vision board for 2022, if not for the next 5 years.
But, as I pulled up a Word document on my laptop to unleash the magic, I couldn’t even begin.
I did not know what to type. I didn’t know what to think. I couldn’t much recall what I had been thinking all this while. I thought I had a clear vision for the year in my head and it was only a matter of putting it down on a piece of paper or a Word document. But boy was I wrong. There was no way I could begin to articulate any of that.
I felt so disconnected to myself in that moment, that whatever I would have typed would have felt contrived. And that is not how you create a vision board, or a mission statement, or whatever it was that I had thought I was going to do that morning.
My lack of clarity is to blame, not the world
The piccolo was getting colder. I glanced at my copy of You, Goddess! that I had picked up earlier that morning at a book store in West End. And it occurred to me that my problem wasn’t the world, with its inherent unfairness and unpredictability, or other people making demands on my time. When I finally sat down, with an entire morning allocated to myself, it became clear just how jumbled up my mind had been. Absolutely unable to focus on the task at hand.
I thought I should first and foremost calm down. Let the mind do its thing of scurrying off wherever, but instead of chasing it focus on my breath. Without calming down there was no way any ideas were going to appear, let alone a vision for life.
I can always take that one small step
I dropped the pressure on myself and glanced at the blank page on the screen. I pulled up a ‘focus for music’ YouTube playlist on my phone, plugged in the earphones, and started typing, whatever words may come.
This is how any work gets done – it starts with one simple step. And gradually it builds up into a series of assured steps, which, taken regularly over time, either lead to something decidedly better or coalesce into something bigger. But it all starts with that one simple step. Do not underestimate the importance of that seemingly banal article you wrote on Monday morning. If you are approaching this with a positive/growth mindset, you are establishing a solid foundation with every keystroke.
It’s the process, not divine revelation, that we need to glorify
‘Grand’ isn’t one thing. Even for it to appear out of nowhere, like a divine revelation, there has to be a process of some kind preceding it, even if a subconscious one.
When you have spent years inside your head, instead of actually doing something, you don’t know what you truly want. Sure, you may have an idea, like I did. But I find that when you are thinking of something in what could be considered limiting circumstances, your “vision” for yourself becomes that much more fantastic. (And that’s natural, too. The mind needs its escapes.)
However, when you eventually get the time to engage with your thoughts in an unforced manner, you realise that your vision isn’t as clear as you’d thought it to be. You may find that you’re not even sure if that is what you want.
It’s a process. Of elimination and refinement. Of doing and finding out. Of getting started and keeping at it. So don’t pressurise yourself if you can’t produce a grand vision board at the drop of a hat. Or if at all. Focus on the idea behind it. To gain clarity into your wants and desires. They have to be yours, not forced, not inspired by competition, and they need to come from a place of deep calm.
Getting to know yourself is the whole point. Of a vision board, and of life.
